Do you work with aliens? How would you know if you did? Finally there's help, here's a simple guide to discovering who among your colleagues are from another planet:
Food – Aliens don't eat normal human food. Look for colleagues who you've never seen eating. Offer them a slice of pizza because nobody from this planet would refuse free pizza.
Performance – Aliens are way smarter than humans and so they are typically successful. Look for those in your company who are high up in the organizational chart. Aliens are looking to run things, not be bossed around. For example, Bill Gates (Microsoft) and Jeff Bezos (Amazon) are aliens.
Social Skills – Aliens are not very good networkers and never play the role of office clown. Look for the ones who don't talk much and have a very difficult time conducting a conversation. Aliens don't have hobbies, they don’t have "good weekends" and they don't say "TGIF".
Office Romance – Aliens don't mate with humans and thus the aliens in your office won't ever get caught up in office romance. That should eliminate many of your colleagues as potential aliens.
Limited Time – Aliens don't just grind away at the corporate rat race. They are at your business for a specific reason, maybe to run a few experiments you would rather not know the details about. If one of your co-workers just vanishes one day, instead of a new job, they may have just returned to their home planet.
Now that you know who the aliens are at your company, you can begin the process of uncovering the robots. Stay tuned...
The Office Toy Guy
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Image courtesy of Steve Jurvetson.